With the many medical articles written concerning the need to know about genes and heredity, I decided I needed to seriously complete the search and pass on to my two sons any important medical information about my birth parent’s background. As I intensified the search in 2001 I found that any efforts I made in the 1970-1990 period would have been futile because I was a total secret from the seven birth siblings I now have. There was no person living who had knowledge of my existence. The sealed record controlled by the Court was the only record of my birth beginning since my file became lost somewhere in the adoption agency.

The breakthrough in the search came when I obtained "non-identifying" information from the New York State Adoption Registry (formed in the early 1990’s) that was taken from my sealed original birth certificate. I learned in July, 2004 my birth mother had two pregnancies prior to my birth…this was an emotional experience to learn for the first time. This prompted me to search the 1930 Census and then obtain the New York City birth index from 1937-1945 from the Mormon records library in Salt Lake City. I found John was born in 1941 in New York City, and could be one of the two children. My search intensified when I discovered my birth mother was one of only a dozen females in the 1930 United States Census that had the basic profile of German descent. I sent out 30+ letters around the country to individuals with my birth name and targeted John as a possible connection. Weeks passed and I received calls and correspondence that "closed doors" on the possibilities of a connection or information. I did receive a call from John and he gave me much information and contacts to Susan and Bill, who were his half siblings. Phone calls and letters led me to where I felt these were my siblings and I again pursued the New York State Adoption Registry and the Adoption Agency to present what I had found, hoping they could confirm if my birth mother’s name was Alice.

On April 27, 2005 I talked to a person who listened to my contacts and had much empathy for my searching story. This person had the right data and was caring enough to state "confirmed"…my 36 year search had ended and I now knew my birth mother was Alice. In May I met Susan in San Diego and saw a picture of Alice for the first time. We had a wonderful lunch together as we both had to ease into this startling relationship. She gave me much information and I now had two half siblings prior to Alice’s marriage in 1947, and possibly 5 full siblings after Alice married Sidney. Alice passed away of breast cancer in 1957 and all her children’s knowledge of her was loving, with fond memories, but not much was remembered because they were so young.

This information prompted a 6500 mile trip in June, to meet more siblings…not to try to convince them, but merely show them many documents and information about why I was now coming into their lives. My wife accompanied me on the trip to Virginia, Washington, D.C., and Connecticut. We enjoyed the surreal experience of meeting my birth siblings for the first time. The emotions ran high as we met people who looked like me, had some common interests, and provided me with as much information as they could recollect about Alice, Sidney, growing up, and relatives they could remember. They were so good to me as we were all trying to handle the overwhelming experience held together by only compelling circumstantial evidence and an individual doing the humane thing to say "confirmed", based on a listing with my name and Alice as my birth mother.

Having met my siblings, there was a strong possibility that Sidney was my birth father, even though I did not go into the Alice-Sidney household after they got married in 1947. With the modern technology now available, Susan and I did a DNA test together in San Diego during August, and mailed in the results. The test results came back that there was a 59.8 to 1 ratio that we were full siblings…Sidney was my birth father. He passed away in 1968, but what a blessing to know where I came from and obtain so much information about the family.

I continue to visit with my siblings when we have the opportunity and I cherish the moments to learn about them and their memories of interacting with people I see in the picture albums they have shared with me. It seems I was the greatest benefactor intruding into these people’s lives as an "off the wall secret". I reflect back on the emotional impact on everyone I have met, and how they had to absorb such a secret coming forward . Although it was a difficult journey, I feel fortunate as another adoptee who has accomplished the right to know their heritage, available medical history, and meet birth siblings in emotional experiences that only adoptees who have shed the tears of joy can understand.

I feel grateful for the help I have received during such a long search. My wife Susie has been very supportive in the 36 years of searching, has dealt with the intense times, and met my siblings in sharing the "out-of-body" experiences. My adoptive parents were so loving and encouraging toward the natural instinct of knowing birth roots. As I cleaned out their personal effects, I found the legal document they executed in the 1970’s that I had forgotten they gave me. They documented their full consent for me to penetrate the bureaucratic systems if I needed that support. My thanks go to ALMA, their volunteers, and Marie Anderson, for providing so many years of support, encouragement, and ideas that have been important at the critical times.

Submitted by Adoptee, Chuck, June 2006!