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P.O.Box 85 
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Connie shares her story of finding her daughter! December 16, 2007 Back | Story 1 | Story 2 | Story 3 | Story 4 | Story 5 | Story 6
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Connie, Birth Mother joined Alma many years ago because of the very encouraging stories in their newsletters (now web site) and shares her story with us!
I eventually made contact with the daughter I had given up for adoption. We now have a delightful e-mail relationship, and last summer we had our second family reunion where I was able to meet her two daughters (ages 4 and 5) for the very first time.
My search consisted of one frustrating failure after another, and after each one, I had to gather my courage to continue. Sometimes it took a year to brave another disappointment. I'd like people to know to keep trying, and in the end, it will probably be worth the search.
When I finally found out where my daughter's parents were living, I contacted them to let them know if she ever had any questions, I was ready and willing to answer those questions. I was told she had never asked about her past, and she had shown no interest in searching for her birth family. I decided to leave it up to them, and I then wrote to ALMA and told them that there would be no reunion.
The next thing I knew I was contacted by a member of Alma from the Seattle Branch (an adoptee) who told me it wasn't my place or that of her parents to decide, it was up to my daughter. After many conversations with several adoptees, I decided my decision had been wrong, and I tried to contact her at the phone number I had, but it was no longer in service. Two years later, I hired a private detective to track her down, and I contacted her through an intermediary. She was excited at first, but family resistance won out, and she asked me not to contact her again. Two years later, another daughter sent her half sister a Christmas letter. To my surprise, she responded and told her she had a long letter and a package of photos she had been trying to get up the nerve to send.
We wrote back and forth for about a year and met her once in Oregon where she had a good time getting to know her sisters and avoided me every way that she could. I found out later she hadn't told her parents she was coming to meet us, and she felt very guilty. We continued writing letters, and when the Internet became available, we communicated in shorter but more frequent letters.
Our relationship is still somewhat tentative, but she and her sisters have hit if off in a big way. I think there is still guilt standing between us - mine for having given her up, and hers for "betraying" her now deceased parents. But, it's OKAY! I have so much more than I did when I started, and I will always be grateful to ALMA for helping me find my way.
Submitted by Connie, Birth Mother from Everett, WA - December 16, 2007 (I'm the one on the far left)!
"Contact: MAnderson@almasociety.org
