ALMA REUNION - GERRI ADOPTEE MEETS BIRTH MOTHER, MARIA!

I (Gerri - adoptee) was born on 4/21/65 and surrendered for adoption only 3 days later.  The adoption had been arranged privately (six months into my birthmom's pregnancy) between my birthmother's family, her doctor, my adoptive family and an attorney.

I was raised by my loving family in Scarsdale, NY.  I was told I was adopted at an early age (4 years old) and always wondered about my natural mother.....where she was, what she looked like and if she had ever tried to search for me.  I felt in my heart that she wanted to know me and would be happy to hear from me.  I also wondered about my true nationalities....where my ancestors were from, etc.  (As it turns out - I am a 10th great-granddaughter to John Alden and Priscilla Mullins of the Mayflower - and am also a Daughter of the American Revolution - as 4th great-grandaughter of Edward Byram (the Indian Captive of 1779 - as written in the book:  Abby Byram and her Father, the Indian Captives, published 1898.  (This was an exciting and surprising discovery for a Jewish kid from NY!).
 

When I was eighteen I asked my (adoptive) Mom for help searching so I could find my roots.  She told me everything she knew and provided me with copies of my adoption papers and amended birth certificate.  My Mom and I were very close  - and she understood my need to know.  I embarked on a search (on and off) for over 20 years.  I joined local search groups, sent letters to families, historical societies, and schools, hired investigators, ran ads, and joined several reunion registries. 

In 1991, I joined ALMA.  In 1996, my birthmom wrote a letter that was placed in my file.  ALMA tried to contact me by mail...then,once in 1997 and once in 2000 - however, I had moved and had not left a forwarding address with the post office. 

Eleven years after the match was made....(April 2007), I was in the process of having my house painted.  The filing cabinet in my home office was too heavy to move without emptying it.  In doing so, I came across all of my "Adoption Search Files."  I said to myself, "I should contact ALMA, to update my address information..." as I had moved twice since registering in 1991.   

I sent a few emails to ALMA and then called to speak with Marie Anderson.  After telling Marie my story, she pulled my file, contacted Jeanie, the Registrar, and she told me that they think there is a potential match!  I couldn't believe it!!!  After sharing the info they had in my file - including the fact that they tried to contact me twice before - to no avail - I was convinced she was the right person. 

Within an hour, Marie had located my birthmom, in New Hampshire....ironically, living four miles from where I went to college 20 years ago.  I called and said "My name is Gerri and I'm calling from Marietta, GA.  I was recently in touch with ALMA who told me you wrote a letter in 1996, and I think I may be your daughter."  My birthmom said "You found me baby, that's me!"  My dream had come true and at last, we were reunited. 

We talked for hours - took a break - and then spoke for hours more the same evening (4/18/07).  We exchanged photos via email and within three days (on my birthday, 4/21) I had received emails from my six half-siblings....expressing their love and joy, the fact that they've known about me their entire lives, and attached photos.  This was the happiest day of my life.  I sat on my couch with the laptop from 7 pm to midnight - reading and responding to their beautiful emails - until midnight.  I could not hold back the tears of joy. 

My birthmom, Maria, and I, decided to meet at her home (in NH) for a week, during Mother's Day.  Our first hug was as you could have imagined....powerful...and very long!  During our time together I had the pleasure of meeting her wonderful husband, Vernon (who had encouraged her to search for me, over the years and embraced me as a member of their family) my half-sister, Rohana (who lives in VT) and my 91 -yr old Grandmother!  My other half-siblings (in all: two sisters and four brothers) live out West and I'm hoping to visit them before the end of the year.

Our reunion could not have been better.  We laughed and cried - shared all the details of our lives....Mom showed me family albums and shared stories.  We went for a long walk in the woods together, shopped cooked and baked together.  We stayed up late  - she read me Kippling and we sang songs together.  Mom is a singer/songwriter -and even sung me some of her originals - one of which was written for me.   Mom also reached out to my birthfather...who expressed an interest in meeting me....but would like to hold off until some personal matters in his life are resolved.        

In August (a few weeks ago) my birthmom made her first visit to me, in Georgia (I live in Marietta).  We spent a few days here together - during which time she met my Dad (my Mom died in 2004, after a four- year battle with breast cancer), brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew and friends.  I think everyone was a little nervous at first - but that faded quickly - and a truly good time was had by all.  A few days later, we took a road trip to NC to visit her brother and his wife....my Uncle and Aunt!  We had a wonderful afternoon together, my Aunt made a lovely dinner, and we played a four-hour monopoly tournament and laughed for hours.  It was a memorable trip!

There's way too much to tell...we've been in touch every day since our reunion and have become close - like best friends......like a mother and daughter.

We both feel very blessed and grateful to you (Maria and Jeannie) and to ALMA for making our dreams come true.  Let me underscore the importance of that....my soul has never known the peace it does now.  Not knowing created a perpetual "unrest." 

You're work is very important and life changing.  Thank you for being there and for all that you do! 

I'd like to close with saying that ADOPTION is and can be a wonderful thing.  I know, sadly, that it's not everyone's story, but I was fortunate to have a birthmother who wanted the best for me, that she could not provide at 18.  She and my grandmother ensured my placement in a privileged home.  As a result, I had wonderful upbringing with loving parents who guided me, ensured that I had everything that I needed (and more), encourage and supported my college and graduate level education - and loved me  - no matter what. 

Despite these truths - there is pain and anguish associated with not being able to know the history of one's origins - which I believe - should be every human being's right.  My search for my birthmom, Maria, was fueled by a connection that we each felt for one another for my entire life....and should not be viewed as any type of "reflection" on my adoptive family - except, in that - they taught me the (priceless) value of family....and how important it is to truly know and love one another.  There is simply (always) enough love to go around. 

Gerri