Story One

Birthmother Shares Her Reunion Story - December 2011

Our journey has been the makings of a Lifetime Movie. We could never have imagined how our lives would change on a single Thursday afternoon. Trying to sum it up in one page will do our story no justice, but we do intend to write a book together about our travels of finding each other.

When I tell this story, it's important to me to always begin by making clear that as a birth mother, I did not choose to put my baby, Robert Michael up for adoption. He was the light of my life and was taken away from me at my age of 17. Short story version... it was a living nightmare! I made many attempts over the years to reconnect, unsuccessfuly, and then I discovered and registered with ALMA in 1992. Moving all over the country, I always made sure ALMA could locate me in case my prayers were answered and my son registered, too. I waited in faith until May 19, 2011 - 19 years.

I was working in my home office when I got "THE CALL" from Marie at ALMA: the one I'd dreamt about thousands of times. All I had to hear was, "Are you sitting down?" Say no more, you could pick me up with a spatula!

After filling me with 30 minutes of information about my long lost baby, I asked, "Now what?" Marie advised that with the benefits of technology today, she recommended that I sit back and wait for Robert to email me, and we should wet our feet by emailing for a while to get to know each other. I hung up the phone and tried to imagine how I could just sit and patiently wait now! Mentally composing an email, I sat back.....

Minutes later, my phone rang again. The male voice asked if I was Pam, and then he told me he believed he was my son. That moment is beyond surreal. The weight of the world falls from my shoulders; a weight you didn't realize was tons, until it lifts from you. Twenty-eight years of a mother's deep emotional torture over in an instant. I'd always imagine that our first conversation would be awkward, and I'd spend hours pleading for forgiveness and attempting to explain how I loved him with my whole heart every single day since I had held him.

Rob could not have been more gracious or made the first moment more comfortable. He'd already forgiven me and wanted to know me --now! In less than a minute, we were so comfortable with each other that nobody would ever had guessed we were just meeting again after 28 long years. That first conversation lasted seven hours. Every night that week was another five-six hours; talking until the wee hours of the morning about anything and everything. I couldn't make plane reservations quickly enough. I flew the following week to meet him and his girlfriend, and then we took a road trip to go meet my younger son at his university. He had always wanted a big brother and was about to get the shock of his life. Immediately accepting, both brothers had eerily similar things in common and bonded instantaneously as well. What a relief!

That weekend, Robert was excited to be able to propose to his now fiance' with his new family there. What a thrill! We continued the road trip to meet my brother and his family. All the men love football, so it was an easy start. We have since started working together, went to Orlando, took another road trip for Thanksgiving to visit with more family, and we are sitting down next week to be interviewed by a NPR radio director for our book.

Without ALMA, I wouldn't be able to celebrate the first Christmas with both of my sons. Who's more blessed than me????

Thank you, ALMA, for your great work. Keep it up; you will have my support for life!

Birthmother, Pam M.

Written by ALMA member and posted on web site, December 7, 2011